Because everyone at my school is so annoying about this and I don't have a better title.

Why is every teenager on this earth so obsessed with having a boyfriend or girlfriend?
I honestly don't see the appeal.
What, you have someone follow you around everywhere, controlling all of your free time, texting you every night? Big freakin whoop.
I mean yeah, when it's right, it's right. Duh. I'm not dissing you and your boyfriend.
But it's like, you can't ever be sure it's right when you're in high school. You've had at most like two boyfriends who were both probably not really even boyfriends and they were both probably huge jerks. Hence the fact they are in the past.
So how do you know it's right?
You can't know.
I mean come on, most of us can hardly plan a future that involves us alone. What makes us think we can plan a future that revolves around another person?

Every guy you ever date you'll either break up with or marry.
In that perspective, dating in high school becomes extremely unattractive,
Especially in my case, because I can't even hold a real conversation with half of my close friends.
How the heck am I supposed to hold a conversation with the same person for the rest of my life?
Yeah, not going to happen.

It seems sad, but I don't see myself getting in a relationship for the next few years,
much, MUCH less getting married.
The thought of it terrifies me.
Not because I'm afraid to get married.
I just can't think about the commitment of the whole thing.
I mean think about it.
Getting married is basicaly giving yourself to another person.
You become so close, and it freaks me out.
It literally makes me sick to my stomach, thinking about living with the same person forever.
It's not like I never want to get married, but I want to figure myself out first.
I want independence.

Maybe I'll be a Utah old maid and get married after I turn twenty five.
But I really feel bad for those girls who get married right out of high school.
It's like, live a little.
Make mistakes, go to college, get an education.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.
Date a whole bunch of college guys.
Get a job at a bakery, then a shoe store, then a music store.
Don't get married because you feel obligated to.
Don't get married because you have nothing else to do.
And to my fellow LDS girls, DO NOT WAIT ON YOUR MISSIONARY.
That's amazing that he went on a mission, but there's a huge chance you are going to wait two years for a guy who isn't even going to marry you.
Don't waste your time and LIVE for goodness sakes.
(edit: there isn't anything wrong with marrying an RM that you dated before they left, what I was trying to get across here is that girls who are thinking about waiting on a missionary, don't waste time writing to them every day and get yourself out there so you know for sure that you want to marry this missionary. Also never distract your missionary from doing His work with promises that you potentially cannot keep.)

Take my advice, please. Live how you want to, not because it's part of your religion or family, but because it's what you've chosen.
Choose for yourself. You're nearly an adult for crying out loud.

Thank for reading, loves! I've missed big posts like this.
song of the day (because it's all wintery now and this is my all time favorite winter song)

Thoughts of a surviving senior.

Every day I wake up and tell myself,
Megan, no matter what you do, how you dress, how much weight you lose, someone somewhere is going to judge you.
And that is their problem, not yours.
Dress how you want, go to college where you want, and be the person you want to be.
Because what they think only matters if you let it.

song of the day

This is my Brain.

Reason #1 that I shouldn't be a graphic designer: My blog layout. Sorry guys I've been trying to fix it so that it is more cute and hipster but what'll you do.

Uhh okay there are a lot of things that I want to talk about and I'm not sure how to start so as always I'm going to dive right into it while also having no idea what I'm doing.

Lately I've had a lot of much needed alone time to just sit and think about my life and everything that's going on.

I have kind of been second guessing myself on a bunch of things and I noticed I do that too much. I'm not sure how to put it into a way that I could make you understand unless this is how you think.

But essentially the way my brain works is I'll learn something and I'll be conscious of the fact that I know it is true, but in the back of my mind there is a tiny voice that constantly says, "Do I really know that, though? Have I pondered that enough to know for a fact it is true? Have I looked at every single possible side? Have I studied it and come to a conclusion that it is legitimate enough to call a knowledge?" For example, I used to say I hated math. Everybody hates math, right? I actually thought that because I was forced to use my head for once in my life to systematically solve a problem that I hated it. I also thought that since my friends hate math that I should too, right?

Stupid stupid stupid. All stupid reasons.

I finally realized a few weeks ago that even though I struggle a little with math and it does take a minute to process in my head (unlike the well-known human calculators) that I actually really enjoy math. It's a simple language that I understand. It's not something that I want to live my life teaching, but if I had to take a math class for the rest of my life, I'd be okay with it.

The point is, is that it took me a whole seventeen years to figure out that I like math, so how long will it take me to figure out really important stuff?

Sometimes I wish that I was naïve. I wish I didn't have a little voice that always made me second guess something that I think I know. I wish I could be that normal kid who spoke to my parents and didn't wonder if either of them know what they're doing (a thought that goes entirely against every child-like instinct that I have, but hey, I can't help it).

But when I'm done being whiney, I step back and actually look at my life and see that I am so darn blessed to have such a mind. I'm glad that I don't just look at something and think oh yeah my teacher said it so it has to be true. Because at the end of the day, I know the things I know with such a passion that even I have trouble comprehending it. So maybe next time you're learning something new you can look at all of the sides and have a tiny bit of skepticism. That way you'll know for sure that what you know is what you know, not just something that you blindly trust.

Anyways thanks for reading!

Song of the day

What is this Post.

So I've been trying and trying to write a post but I can't seem to do it. Writer's block, they call it. Not to mention I've been extremely busy. But I'm gonna try and write something.

Cliques.

How ridiculous I am for writing about this.

Mainly I want to focus on stereotypes in general, which are things I try to stay away from.

For example, just when people think I am sticking to the no-makeup look, I tend to throw on some mascara.

Wear mom jeans one day, floral print the next

Dress as prep as possible for a whole week, wear band shirts and my dad's huge jacket the next.

Grow my hair out, chop it all off.

I like to make sure people can't pin me down to one thing.

Obviously people have already pinned me to my glasses, and when I wear contacts everyone thinks I'm a foreign exchange student or something.

Who's that chick with the plain hair and the clothes? She looks kinda like Megan, but she can't be. She's not wearing huge glasses.

Here's something to think about, 

my glasses actually come off.

Holy freak, and you thought they were permanently connected to my head!

The main reason I wear them, and this might shock you, IS BECAUSE I NEED TO SEE.

I can't see without them, and contacts give me absurd headaches.

Enough about that.

You should know by now that I like to live how I think the rest of the world should live.

I wish everyone would stop giving in to stereotypes.

Just because you have a certain interest doesn't mean you have to leave everyone else out of your group.

I try and befriend everyone who I think is worth being friends with.

If I think you are cool, won't potentially turn around and stab me in the back, and genuinely fun to be with, I will try to be friends with you.

It's as simple as that.

Anyways, that's all I can think of right now, hope you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading you gorgeous pineapple.

SONG OF THE DAY

Hola, Señor Year

It's been a while! Okay, like two weeks. But I've had a lack of inspiration because I'm busy with work and stuff. I thought I'd jump on the band waggon and talk about the upcoming school year! Woohoooo.
Here we go.

So school starts on Tuesday and it's pretty exciting because I'm gonna be a Senior!

My dad makes jokes about how he thought he was going to be a senior before his daughter.

Ha. Ha. 

It's really weird for me because I'm suddenly growing up super fast and it freaks me out.

I keep getting letters from universities, I just got a job (and my first paycheck today), I just opened a bank account like two weeks ago.

And pretty soon I'll be graduating!

What the heck is this?

I swear to you it was yesterday that  I came into fifth grade at Cherry Hill and met half of the people that I'm graduating with.

My family is asking if I'm nervous for the first day.

I've been going to public school for Twelve years now. I'm not nervous for another first day.

What I'm nervous for is the end of my twelve years of public school.

But I'm also super excited! I cant wait to get out of high school.

Here are some of my high school pet peeves:

• When people stare at you because you're wearing sweats and no makeup. Sorry I don't feel like getting ready. Last time I checked I was here to get an education, not give a crap about what you think of me.
• When teachers treat specific kids better than others. You're here to teach us. 
• When we have debates and people practically get in fist fights over the topic. I really respect that you have a passionate opinion but you're not the only one with an opinion here. Other people are allowed to think differently than you. Not to mention this is a classroom.
• When people whine about how they don't want to be here and school sucks and blah blah. You're lucky to even have the chance to make something out of yourself and instead you skip class to go chat with your pals? Sure that's fun now, but where does that get you in ten years? I work my freaking butt off for my A- average because I know how many people would love to come to school in my place. While school is great for socializing, it's sole purpose is for you to learn so you will get somewhere in life. Respect the time teachers put into lessons, the effort administrators put into keeping the school safe and even the work janitors put into cleaning up after you.

Eh I could probably keep going with that but whatever. I just cant wait to escape all the populars and bullies and drama and all that good stuff.

But I am excited to get this year started! I know it's going to be one of my hardest years but it will also be the most fun and hopefully most memorable!

Here's to a crazy psycho year full of memories, late night studying, preparing for college, new sophomores *sarcastic shout of excitement*, retaking the ACT and then retaking it again, and all of that other stuff!

See you all soon:)

Play On, it is the Food of Love.

Hello! Well today I just kind of want to talk about music. Lots of words will be linked to different songs in this one, so if you move your mouse over a word and it turns red, CLICK IT!

I have absolutely no musical talent and I don't play any instruments.

Regardless, music is a HUGE part of my life.

I don't think I have ever met someone who doesn't like music.

Everyone has a genre that they prefer over another, but no one hates music all together.

Sometimes the major reason I post on here is because I have a gorgeous song that I want to show you guys in the "Song of the Day" link that I always have.

Music in it's element has been around since the beginning of the human race.

I survive on music.

I do not go anywhere without it.

That being said, I have a very emotional connection with all of the music I listen to.

I have music that I listen to when I am angry,

happy,

sad,

in need of a cool down,

in need of inspiration,

and much much more.

I keep a journal that is addressed specifically to my future children, and at the end of every entry I put a song because based on the music now, the music in twenty years will be the sound of static mixed with horses running with the word "swag" every ten seconds.

I have a special hatred for today's radio.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for pop music.

It's just this cookie cutter pop.

Simple beats, auto tune, low bass.

Literally anyone can make that kind of music.

Not to mention the lyrics.

There is absolutely no thought put into these words, no emotion.

Every song that they play on the radio is about sex, drugs, alcohol or has some cute little message for thirteen year old girls.

Half of the people they play on the radio don't even write their own music. 

Except Ke$ha. And that really worries me more than most things.

Sure, I suppose they are good to dance to, but that's about it. 

Don't even get me started on rap.

I'm not even bashing the rap genre itself, because I am a fan.

But it's like now there is hardly a line between pop and rap anymore.

And these rappers use common sayings like: Swag, Get Money, etc.

If you have swag, why do you need to tell the world in every song about it?

And profanities are just thrown in left and right, making them completely lose any sort of meaning and allowing the kids who listen to their music to use them in every day speech.

Since when does using the F-word every two seconds shows "swag" and since when does "swag" get you anywhere in life?

Remember when rap had meaning?

The only reason the music on the radio is so popular is because:

1. It's catchy and easy to sing along to.

2. Everyone listens to it and people have forgotten what real music is.

3. It's simple music for the poorly emotionally developed and high. (aka almost every 13 year old in America)

I take deep pride and love in my taste in music.

I hope this inspires more to think about the music they listen to and contemplate whether or not it is really worth listening to.

Thanks for reading! Did you find all of the links? There are eight songs all together. I hope you enjoy at least one of them! I tried to fit several genres in there. No song of the day today because there are so many good ones above! 

I love you. 

*Disclaimer: I realize that the Shakespeare quote is not correct in the title. This is because I have put my own spin on it. It is only based on the quote itself. I do that. Get over it.*

Self Esteem is for Losers

Hello! How are you? Oh, how fabulous. Unless you said you feel like you just got peed on by an elephant. In that case, I'm so sorry. That stinks. Literally.
Alright enough of my lame humor.

So if you know me, you know that I'm not really like super popular.

I don't wear expensive clothes, 

I don't wear makeup,

Everyone thinks I'm a poser because of my glasses (until they find out they're real)

I only have a few really close friends.

I don't look or act like any of the super gorgeous popular girls at my school.

I am completely aware of this fact.

And guess what? 

I'm perfectly fine with it.

When I was younger all I wanted was for guys to notice me and have tons of friends and all that good stuff.

And that's all fine and good but that just didn't happen with me.

People have made fun of me for tons of crap and it used to really hit me really hard.

But I just don't see the point anymore.

I don't see how it's worth it to spend all of my time complaining about how I look.

I can't change the way I am.

I mean sure, I exercise to stay healthy and I try to eat healthy enough, but whats wrong with a treat now and then?

And I guess I could cover up acne and make my eyelashes longer with makeup but I just don't care.

I'd rather have ten more minutes to sleep in the morning than spend it covering myself with product.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's bad to want to look nice. And I'm not saying daily hygiene isn't important.

I'm just saying that people shouldn't care so much.

Some days I really do enjoy putting on a pretty skirt and cute shoes.

But I'm also wonderfully happy in my "Big Boy on Campus" T-shirt and cut off jeans.

And don't say "Aww Megan you're so pretty and I think you're popular" and nice things like that.

I think I'm pretty too. I just don't think I fit that gorgeous barbie look.

And I agree, I am popular with my little group of friends, and they are all popular to me. 

I'm saying that I'm not friends with all the people in school that everyone knows.

Which is cool with me. 

I'm just trying to be real.

I know who I am.

I know where I fit.

I'm a super awkward 16 year old who loves scifi and cheesy Disney movies and the 80's.

I'd rather hang out at home listening to pandora, doodling and watching Merlin than go to a party and socialize.

I'd rather go to a public bathroom alone than have a ton of my friends looking in the mirror and waiting for me.

I'd rather play video games than go hiking.

Be Your Own, that's my motto.

Anyways! Thanks for reading! I love you.

CLICK ME>>> Song of the Day <<<CLICK ME

Hit the Hard Subjects First, Win Them Over Later

Hi. It's like, eleven thirty at night. Which is early, I guess. But late for me to write a post. So let's hope I finish before my beddy bye time. I don't know why but I'm starving. Sorry, off topic! I have something to say to you today, my dear little readers! One of my normal rants. So heeerrree wee gooo.

Media these days is a huge influence in almost everyone's lives.

Even those mountain men on that show, because THEY ARE ON THE TV. Hello. Even though I respect those guys and kind of really want to become them. And have a righteous beard and kill my own food and such.

Anyways. Last year I took this digital media class. I loved it, not only because I absolutely worshipped my teacher because he loves eighties movies and indie music and Star Wars and whenever he mentioned the Breakfast Club I had one of my little freak out seizures. In a nutshell, he was fantastic.

He has one of those personalites who just lays it out straight. He is very blunt. And I learned most of what I'll be talking about in his class.

He once said that the people who control the media are more powerful than the president.

Think about it. Like honestly what do we do everyday?

If you're like me you spend most of your day on the internet and listening to music and watching TV.

(Let's not judge my personal habits. I spend to much time being sedentary. I'm working on it.)

And even if you don't spend all day with your mulitiple television shows and obsessing over instagram, most people watch the news and shop in stores and whatever.

I don't think we realize how much influence media has on us.

Do you know how they view us?

They see us as, to quote one of my favorite spongebob episodes, "Class A suckeroonies."

We are puddy in their hands and they know it.

And they can make absolutely ANYTHING cool or appealing.

For example, take the Justin Bieber movie. Watch it once, you love him. For some. Some people just plain out loathe him, which I can understand.

And I'm not hating on the Biebs. I love that kid.

But I also loved him before the movie itself (and I promise I'm not saying like "OMG, I'm better than allllll of you 'cause I knew Justin before the movvviiieeee." No. That's annoying. I'm simply making a point).

But I know tons of people who didn't like him much and then loved him when they saw the movie.

Because the people who made the movie know how to appeal to the audience. In this case, teenage and five year old girls.

The media makes drinking look glamorous and obviously only beautiful people drink alcohol, according to every commercial I've ever seen.

And that's another reason I think people give in so easily to media, because you only see beautiful people.

That girl is wearing those clothes and she is pretty, so I must shop at that store and I will look like her.

We convince ourselves that we will look a certain way if we do whatever the media tells us.

And then there are these models who make every single girl ever feel fat.

Modeling isn't so glamorous, though. Most of those women smoke like psychos and eat pills to keep their weight like that.

Thanks, but that's not how I want to live my life.

I like food. And my lungs.

And most of that unreal beauty comes from caked on makeup and an overload of photoshop.

 Most of us know that there is so much insane photoshop and makeup, but when we are looking through the magazines we seem to somehow completely forget that fact.

I really resent the media.

It bugs me because it is such a huge portion of my life and I often become a victim.

But I know better. And that is what bugs me. I need there to be a day that the media tells the entire truth.

One day, I tell you. I will lead my little crazy ranting hippie revolution and get JUSTICE.

I honestly could say so much more and it seems I can never get ou all that I can say in one post. I hope you guys don't get too mad at these, but I just have so much fun writing my little angry "Fight the Man" speeches. Anyways. I'm done. Thanks so much for reading my crazy scatterbrained thoughts. I love you.

SONG OF THE DAY> CLICK ME BECAUSE I HIDE A SONG OF WONDERS AND JOY.<SONG OF THE DAY