I've been struggling lately with myself and it has become a big enough problem that I've decided to blog about it. Shocker.
I could go ahead and blame it on my ridiculous amount of Instagram use (which I consider to be some kind of depressing relapse from my Facebook deactivation), listening to too much Nirvana (which, by the way, is not even remotely possible), or even some kind of insecurity.
Instead, I'm going to be real with you and just say that there isn't a person or thing on this earth that has screwed me up other than myself and my worthless bodily functions.
I stress over too many things, worry about my future so much that I forget what is going on right in front of me and dont allow myself enough time for important things like a social life.
About the social life thing is, I don't even want one. I seriously am the most introverted person that I know, and not that that is a bad thing, but it is the way I go about it. My mind craves face to face interaction, but at the same time it completely rejects it. It's like a super sad paradox. I don't even really like people that much.
And like my hatred for people has expanded to other things like school (obviously not the educational part, we've had this conversation before) and Taylor Swift. But I mean come on, it's Taylor Swift. She sucks. Anyways.
I just feel like all of this stuff gets mixed in my mind and I just lose myself in trying so hard to balance my internet use, school work, work, family time, friends time, personal time, worship and it all just gets mixed up and I feel like I need to eliminate one of them, and if I were to do that it would obviously have to be the internet but I AM SO ADDICTED TO IT THAT I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I think that's why I'm so excited to graduate because I'll finally have some relief for a little while.
It felt really good to get that all out. Maybe I'll figure it out now that I've written my struggles down.
Thanks for reading I love you you are a beautiful human.
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