I recognize the fact that I am imperfect.
I understand that I have neither a skinny or athletic body.
The fact that I suffer from an abnormally high amount of anxiety as well as depression often occurs to me.
My hair is short despite the fact that guys seem to prefer girls with long flowing hair.
I'd rather spend an hour watching my favorite LPer on YouTube than watch Gossip Girl or Vampire Diaries.
I feel like if I ever met the people I watch on YouTube I would be more comfortable than I am around my closest friends.
I like to be alone more than I like to be with people, and if I were to choose my favorite person to be around, it's my brother.
In fact, I am alone so often that I sometimes wonder if the places inside my head are actually reality and everything outside is fabricated.
These thoughts are often confirmed after I leave a large gathering of people, when it feels like everything that just happened was a figment of my imagination. When I go home from parties like that, I feel comfortable again. Alone, in my room, listening to Cry reading me some ghost stories.
I would rather listen to Kurt Cobain screeching into my ears than Taylor Swift. Who also does her fair amount of screeching.
I have plenty of self esteem issues.
These are things that I am working on getting over.
I get average grades.
I only have very few people that I actually consider friends. I love these people a lot, but do not trust them fully to love me.
I am guarded, and I understand that this is one of the reasons people leave me. And that is okay.
I honestly have no idea where I see myself in a year and that terrifies me.
I am unhappy, and I know this is another reason people leave me.
In all honesty, that is just how I am. Whether or not people like me is their decision, and it's not something I have time to care about right now.
So, thanks for reading about me. You're pretty cool.
song of ze day
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